kedim xiv: the long haul

From May to July, things get a little rough around here.

If you have read The Unapologetic INKDOG for any length of time, it has probably already become evident that I have a significant number of demons.  They’re always present, but this is kind of the season for them, so it’s probably fitting that I woke up today from another nightmare about my parents.  I have them fairly frequently and I rarely write about them.  For awhile I thought maybe it would be a good idea to keep track of them, but then I have to scroll back through them and see them.

So…I’m not going to write about the one I had today.  I’m just going to throw out into the void that I’m having a hard time and I’m grateful for my therapist.

On the bright side, I’m also just about halfway through KEDIM and even though I’ve done things a little out of order, I’m still on track.  If by May 31st I can say that I have written or created thirty-one things, I will consider this month a win.  I mean, it’s already pretty much a win.  I started making ASMR videos again, which I haven’t felt confident about doing since October 2015 when I got sick.  I finished poems I didn’t think I’d ever finish and started a few scrappy ones that have good enough bones to salvage and repurpose.  If I can keep up the habit of writing every day, maybe I’ll manage to finish something one day!  That’s the goal, anyway.

I’ve been lagging behind on studying Korean, though.  If I put two to three hours of study time in every day for the rest of the month I will still have 30+ hours of study under my belt by June.  I’ll try to focus on doing that instead of feeling bad about the time I missed.

Lastly, it is Mother’s Day.

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you, whether you are the mother of a “traditional” family; a single father working double duty; a mother of children fluffy, feathered, scaled, or tailed; a sibling who has had to step up and assume such a role; a foster mother of people or animals, helping your babies get healthy and happy and preparing for the heartbreak of letting them go; a mother in the workplace who remembers to take care of your coworkers; and all of those who have assumed similar roles to make the world a happier, safer place. Happy Mother’s Day to the new mothers; happy Mother’s Day to those who have tried or are still trying to conceive; happy Mother’s Day to the mothers-to-be. Happy Mother’s Day if you’ve lost your mother and are thinking of her especially on a day like today.

Happy Mother’s Day to everyone who has made the choice to remain childless and gets flak for it; you deserve exactly ZERO of that flak, because making that choice is a personal decision and you should have a wonderful day anyway.


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